Another One Gone Too Soon

Bobby and Debby after the SF Pride Parade

Frowning, ‘er clowning, with Kevin Clarke at Shotgun’s Sassafras Gala.

Once again, I am using words to unravel my grief of losing another person I loved. I am writing to remind myself and others to burn the rose-shaped candle. To cross off the bucket list items that often sit on a notepad upon a dusty shelf. Dream big. Love hard.

Many of you reading this will remember my uncle. He was the guest at my parties who wore a big smile and loved to talk and tell stories. Some made me laugh, some made me shake my head… and then burst into laughter at the absurdity. He was the one who had a sparkle in his eye and was quick to laugh at life’s little moments. Who returned from living in Spain as a carefree bohemian personality after spending a lifetime working in IT while raising his family.

On March 26, 2023, surrounded by his wife of forty years, and his two children, Bobby passed away after a far-too-fast bout with cancer. Until the end, he was ready to fight this f%&$ing unfair, insidious disease. Through his journey and to the end, he was strong, gracious, and brave as he faced his reality with dignity.

With my cousin Eric, Debby, and Bobby at the Napa Valley Film Festival.

I had the gift of Bobby and his wife Debby living in Berkeley for a few years. During that time, I got to experience some extraordinary moments with him. Many that I might have taken for granted but cherish today. Memories that make me appreciate his zest for life at enjoying the ride. Memories that many of my friends were a part of. They quickly folded into the events, galas, and dinners, eventually leading to their kids and me referring to them as “the teenagers.” They lived life with such happiness. No moment was taken for granted.

Shotgun Players galas, Warriors games, road trips, dinner parties, and more. The moments have blended into a blessed mixture of remembrance, making me extremely grateful and equally pissed off. Angry at the unfairness that exists in this world. Gone too soon is the ubiquitous tagline of cancer’s ripple effect. So today, I challenge you to follow Bobby’s lead and take a walk, laugh easily, love hard, and know that it’s all too fleeting. Let’s enjoy this one wild and precious life.

And still, f&%! cancer.