Remembering Chara Schreyer

It’s been a minute since I last posted something, and today’s writing might be deduced as self-soothing in the format of words. As I type out these thoughts, it has been a mere 26 hours since the passing of a woman I adored. An arts leader that many revered. It seemingly came out of nowhere, yet maybe not. Families are wont to do an incredible job of protecting their loved ones through a shield of privacy. Nonetheless, the loss feels large.

Chara Schreyer was known to many as a veteran and accomplished leader in the art world through her extensive and impressive art collection. She was a child of Holocaust survivors who adored her father, her sister, and her children. But to me, she was a woman who had survived divorce and a daughter being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Chara was an incredible support to me in both areas. Exuding determination, strength, and humor when discussing these massive topics, she told me that one can gracefully and with levity survive these trials.

Chara with her interior designer, with whom she wrote two books, Gary Hutton. Image: San Francisco Chronicle, April 24, 2016

Without fail, every time I saw Chara over the years, she would ask me three things:
1. How are the kids? Forever a mother, this was always her first question.
2. How is Electra? She always reminded me of Justine's age and told me how great she was doing. Justine and my daughter Electra brought Chara and me together through the world of diabetes. We have both been champions in funding diabetes clinics at UCSF and organizations that support those living with the disease. Chara was a true leader in supporting JDRF and was honored by the research foundation in 2016.
3. Honey, are you still single? She would then tell me she was looking for a good match for me before bringing up my ex-husband, stating the ubiquitous post-marriage supportive statement, "I never liked him anyway." Whether this was true or not, I appreciated the humorous anecdote.

One of my favorite memories of Chara was having lunch with her shortly after my divorce. She was so kind, positive, and encouraging. I asked her how she met her husband, Gordon, to which she told me a story about being set up by a friend, which essentially led to a blind date. There was a plan for them to meet in Berkeley at Saul's Diner. Chara explained to Gordon that she would be wearing a bright blue shirt.

At this point in the story, she laughed at my furrowed brows and confused look. Anyone vaguely familiar with Chara knows she would never wear a bright blue shirt, given her uniform of monochrome designer clothes. Chara explained this was her disguise so that she could escape without notice if she walked in and didn't like what she saw. Alas, Gordon pulled it off and later became her second husband, who would be with her until the end. Gordon, quiet, understated, and always in a stylish hat, was a perfect yang to Chara's charismatic and outgoing yin.

Diabetes was the tool that brought Chara into my life. Yet, her appreciation of art and collecting, in addition to her incredible support of JDRF, has left me in awe. Despite her childlike wonder, heartwarming smile, and joyful glow, Chara was thoughtful, insightful, and shrewd when understanding art. The first time I toured her home in Tiburon, I didn't fully understand or appreciate her intent. Yet years later, Chara introduced me to Allan Schwartzman and his advisory group, whom I continue to work with today. She has inspired me with her support of artists and how she generously opened her home so that others could experience her collection.

In 2020, in collaboration with Visionary Women, The Chara Schreyer Arts Initiative commenced with the purpose of using art as a vehicle for communication and change. Targeting issues that address parity and equality for women, the initiative serves to challenge convention, inspire dialogue on a range of social issues and unite women across all spheres of society.

Shortly after I met Chara, she started spending more time in Los Angeles, where she had a newly renovated home and grandkids. I saw her less frequently, but she was always quick to respond to an email to offer advice or a resource. I'll never know how many similar emails she must have received daily, but I always appreciated the response.

Chara and Gordon at her birthday party in July 2022.

I was honored to attend Chara's 75th birthday party this past July. The party in and of itself was a work of art, with guests receiving her latest book as they exited her daughter's stunning home. There was a mix of colleagues from various boards where she served, artists, friends, family, and collectors. Yet the one consistency, I am confident, was that we all adored her. It was the last time I saw Chara, and I will forever cherish the time I spent with her on that balmy L.A. day.

Last week I sent her a note after receiving an update on her health, as I had over the years of her fighting breast cancer. I had no idea that her situation was so precarious. I don't know if she received my note, yet I hope she did and understood what an inspiration she was to me and hundreds of others. It's leaving me feeling still and introspective, and what I'm left with is this. Live your life. Follow Erma Bombeck's advice and burn the rose-shaped candle. Use the fancy perfume. Don't wait for special occasions to celebrate those you love. Today, without Chara, life feels a little less bright. So go out and enjoy the sunshine while it's still shining.

Art is beautiful. Life is precious. And f&%! cancer.